Name That Tune!

Okay, dear readers and loyal subjects, we're going to play a game tonight!  It's called Name That Tune.... no wait, it isn't.  It's called Name That Item!  (I was a kid in the 70's so I just couldn't get by without the requisite Name That Tune reference.)  Now I have to be honest here about a couple of things.  Are you ready?  Okay, here we go.

1.  You can't really name this item.  I've already done it.  It's name is George.  That said, I'm really just trying to get someone to tell me what the heck it is!

2.  I've been trying to figure out what this was since I got it on Saturday.  It was one of those gifts that sponsors, Coupon Trader in this case, handed out at the BlogHer 12 conference last week.  I've been totally clueless until a couple of minutes ago when Hanna, my au pair, came in.  We were talking about how odd it was when she actually stumbled upon what it really is and how it works.  I think we were both shocked at that point but I do believe she's right.... not that I'm going to tell you the answer until tomorrow.  That's what we in the business call a TEASER.  Okay, I'm not sure what business it is that I suddenly think I'm in, but that's not really the point here.

3.  It is just not really possible to tell someone what this blog is about when they ask at these blogging conferences.  They want me to say it's Lifestyle, but it's not.  Or they want me to say I'm a "Mommy blogger," which I'm not.  I keep saying that it's about whatever happens to amuse me at any given point in time, but then I end up admitting that inadvertantly that means it's about porn a lot of the time.  That's about the time they go from telling me how "marketable" I am to suddenly realizing they have some pressing business in some other area and running away.  This particular point has absolutely nothing to do with our little game, but as long as I was on a roll, I decided to just sort of drop it on you all while I had your attention.  This is the Seinfeld of blogs, people!  It's about nothing!!!

Okay, so with those disclaimers out of the way, it is now time to play Name That Item!!!!  Here is what I got in a goody bag on Saturday.

It's not too big.  It's blue.  It's made of soft rubber, and it has a trumpet attached for no apparent reason.  Now we all know me, and left to my own devices, I'd guess this is something really naughty... only I can't tell what.

I've tried doing things with it.  You can blow in the trumpet and it shoots air out.  You can detach the trumpet from the sort of rectangular base.  I've tried making the trumpet stick to things like a suction cup but sadly, it doesn't work.  And you can trust me in that I tried REALLY hard!

This is the inside of the rectangular part.  (Can you tell that I've spent a LOT of time perplexed over this thing?  I mean, the blonde is natural, people, but usually after this long a period of time, I'd have come to SOME kind of conclusion, but I got nothing!)

And here's the back.  And there we have it.  It's my mystery item.  

Now, as I said, Hanna did come up with something and I tried it, so we do know what it is now.  I'm still pretty sure that I can come up with something kinky to do with it, but MPH seemed sort of adverse to letting me experiment.  So here's the trick.  If you can tell me what it is (and you'd like to have it), I will send it to you!  I'm trying to figure out why I picked up all the things I did at this conference and since I really can't, I'm giving a lot of them away.  I gave away a second Trojan vibrator to someone on my Facebook fan page over the weekend.  And I suspect this won't be the last thing that's up for grabs. So please leave a comment if you think you know.  In fact, leave one even if you don't!  I'm all for alternative uses!  In fact, I'm probably a lot more into alternative uses than I am the "real" use.  It doesn't quite work for me like it should but that's my own fault.  And that last statement will make more sense when I tell you what it is... or if you know, but let's be realistic.  That won't be the last time I make some weird and seemingly nonsensical statement around here.  It's part of my charm!  So have fun! Be creative!  And let's Name This Item!