Saturday, June 16, 2012

You're Going To Do WHAT With That?

Well, dear readers and loyal subjects, I am back!  Okay, I'm not really back but I AM out of China now.  Currently I'm enjoying Busan, South Korea for the next couple of weeks, and so far I'm liking it very much.  I have a lot to say about China, including that everything I wrote from there was examined by the police and I wasn't actually able to access my own blog from there, but now I am free to say all the funny things I just didn't want to run by their official readers!  YAY!!!  I also have to say a HUGE thank you to Tammie, Super Queen's Butlette.  Batman has Alfred, but I have Tammie.  She's the one who posted what I emailed to her.  So thank you, Tammie!!!!  So without further ado, (Yup, I said ado again. I'm starting to enjoy it.) let's get on with the random... Chinese edition.

You're going to eat what?...
Okay, to be fair, I had been warned.  I had be warned not to flinch when I saw people eating things on the street that I would normally run from.  And still.... I just wasn't prepared.  Walking through the Hutongs in Beijing (the small, narrow streets that form the traditional neighborhoods) you find people cooking all kinds of things there in big pots right on the street. They set up a stand and sell it to the local people as well as any tourists who happen to walk by.  I got used to seeing the different meats on a stick ready to be cooked, even if I didn't know just what the meats were, but the bugs... I just wasn't prepared for.  That's right, I said bugs.

Did I say bugs?  I'm sorry!  I meant bugs and scorpions!... oh yeah, 

And starfish.  Now, I was sort of okay with this.  I took these pictures!  I got close enough to do just that.  But then something went very... VERY wrong.  It was about the time I took this shot...

Alright a) yes, those are centipedes, but that wasn't the problem either.  The problem was whatever those things are on the far right.  You see, I was okay taking a picture of the bugs on a stick... 
Until they moved.  That's right.  They MOVED.  These things weren't even deceased bugs on a stick (which I'm not sure why that makes it better, but just go with me here because it does).  These were LIVE bugs on a stick.  HOLY CANNOLI, people!!!  

So just to make things clear.  Those things started wiggling their little legs and kind of squirming, and the Queen let out a very regal exclamation.... as long as you consider loud, shrill squeals much like a little girl might make to be regal.  Immediately, the screaming white woman with the camera who was jumping up and down in the middle of the street was quite the center of attention!  Well, I was the center of attention for all of about 10 seconds.  I got the idea that I wasn't the first one to have that reaction... especially when the grinning vendor tried to pull a stick out and offer it to me... which sent me fleeing off in the direction of the people who were vending less squeal worthy items... like painted chop sticks, t-shirts that said "I <3 BJ" (That's the abbreviations or Beijing, people!  Get your heads out of the gutters!  Okay, it took MPH 3 days to figure out that that's what BJ stood for in this particular situation.... men.), and t-shirts with Obama dressed up like Chairman Mao.  I guess I'm lucky that MPH (My poor husband) caught up with me as quickly as he did.  No telling WHERE I'd have ended up otherwise.  

Suffice it to say that I skipped the experience of eating anything I bought off the street.... that was impaled on a stick.  MPH has a saying that everything tastes better on a stick.  I'm okay with not testing that theory out.  I'm still shuddering over here!!!

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