Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Blue Moon Gone Wrong

This past Friday was a blue moon.  It was the second full moon of the month of August and it was something I was looking forward to seeing from the beach where we were headed for the weekend.  I love a full moon. I always have.  What I didn't love was the complete chaos that seemed to follow me around on this particular full moon!  Have you ever had one of those days that you figured could only be righted by a do-over?  Well Friday was that day for me.  Oh blue moon... how could you do me like that?!!!

Isn't this moon pretty?  Well no. It turns out it isn't!  Okay, it is, but my day wasn't!

It was one of those days that I simply shouldn't have left bed.  Or maybe it was one of those days where I simply should have hidden under my desk.  By the end, it was so filled with chaos that the people who work with me were all willing to hide under THEIR desks had there been any chance that I would accidently walk past and infect them with my blue moon luck!  Honestly, it really started out fine.  I was being nice to my daughters and after they begged the night before, I'd relented and said they could stay out of school on Friday to go with MPH (My Poor Husband) on down to the beach early on Friday morning to start on their weekend early.  That should have gotten me some good karma points, right?  I'm the cool mom!  I'm the one who lets the kids play hookey on a rare occasion!  I totally rock, right?!  Well.... apparently not that much.

It started out with all of the family but me getting ready to leave for the beach so I'd be alone to work for the rest of the day.  That's when it began to fall apart.  MPH came upstairs and told me they were delayed.  Apparently his car battery was dead.  That was no big deal.  A quick run to the auto parts store would get him a new one.  Then came his second visit.  This time the tire on the trailer that holds the jetski that our kids love so much was flat... despite it being fine when he'd checked it the night before.  Okay, now we needed to refill the tire too and see if it held.  One trip to the car part store and one inflation later, things looked good.  We had a battery and a tire that seemed fine now.  They were off!... or not.

This one has nothing at all to do with my story but isn't it cool!!!  I should have tossed Sabrina, my cat, up into the air and taken her picture with the full moon too.  I'm betting that would have brought me something, but it probably wouldn't have been better luck.

Anyway, they'd been gone about 10 minutes when I got a call from him.  I figured it was to tell me that all was well... what a fool I can be sometimes.  All was definitely NOT well, unless you consider them pulled over onto the side of the road because of that tire again.  

Queen:  Did it go flat again?
MPH:  Not exactly.  I'm unhooking the trailer now.
Queen: On the side of the road?!
MPH: Yup.
Queen:  Ummm, why?
MPH:  Because the tire disintegrated.
Queen:  Disintegrated?
MPH:  Disintegrated... shredded... fell totally apart.
*about this time I hear my middle daughter yell from the background "Daddy said a bad word!!!!"*
Queen, sighing:  She said you said a bad word.
MPH:  Yes.  I did.
Queen:  After the whole situation with the baby saying the F word last week?!
MPH: The situation sort of called for it.

You know, I was hard pressed to tell him he was wrong there.  Later my daughter told me what he'd said.  She said "Daddy yelled 'Who made this piece of BEEP?'"  And when I use the word BEEP here... that's actually what she said, bless her heart.  Then she spelled the word for me.  Apparently spelling is okay. Who knew?  Anyway, at this point it seemed that most of the bad luck was really MPH's, doesn't it?!  Yeah well that was about to change.

A few minutes later the blue moon finally came for me too.  My internet went out.  I know!  I know!  Horrors!!!!  Well, actually it was.  I work from home and online so no internet... no work!  Definitely not good.  I had people doing who knows what without me there to supervise!!! Alright, they were sitting there contentedly doing their jobs without me cyber staring over their shoulders, but they could have needed me!!!  They could have!!  So that was when I sighed, wondered what else could go wrong, and went to work on this new problem.  It seemed to be the logical step to call up my cable company's customer service department.  And miracle of miracles.... they immediately admitted that there was some kind of problem.  They NEVER do that!!!  They always spend a half an hour trying to make me feel like an idiot for not realizing that my internet WANTS to connect but that something I'm subconsciously doing is interfering with its ability to.  Yeah, if you ever want to feel completely stupid, try telling my cable company that the internet is out while they insist it isn't.  But it looked like my luck was turning with this call!  Too bad it wasn't.

The girl I spoke to was very nice.  She told me something was wrong and was running tests from her end to figure out what it was.  She was helpful and nice and clear and competent and that's when I should have realized it was just too good to be true.  And yup!  That's when it happened. 

Nice girl on the phone:  Oh my God...
Queen:  What's wrong?
Nice girl on the phone:  We're having a very strong earth quake here.
Queen:  Earthquake (while I looked around to make sure I wasn't having one too)
Nice girl on the phone:  Yes... it's... very strong!
*shockingly she was really pretty calm while telling me this, or at least she was very professional*
Queen becoming a bit concerned and wondering if it was coming for me in a moment:  Ummm, where are you exactly?
Nice girl on the phone:  The Philippines.  Can I put you on hold for a moment?
Queen:  Ummm, sure!  (You know, I did briefly wonder what she would have said if I'd said no.  At this point I figured she had enough going on without me deciding to be funny about it, though.)
Nice girl on the phone:  Okay, I'll be right back.
Queen... fill in this space with a few bad words and beep them all for me while I was on hold, thanks!
Nice girl on the phone, coming back:  They say I need to evacuate this building.  Could you call back in a little while?
Queen:  Yes.  Yes, I can.  You stay safe and thanks.
(See?!  I can be nice and considerate!)

I never did call back.  I figured an evacuated customer support center was likely an empty customer support center.  I called IT at my company and we figured a work around that ended up looking exactly like my set up before anyone ever started trying to fix it and left me with no clue what had happened to my internet!  I still blame the blue moon.

Needless to say, I drove to the beach veeeeeeery caaaaaaarefully!  Luckily, I got there in one piece!  So the moral of the story here is.... well frankly I have no idea what the moral is.  I guess I really just wanted someone to pat me on the back and tell me it's over... until 2015.  I plan to definitely stay in bed that day!

Addendum:  I should mention that several of the people who work with me really did decide that Friday was not the day to call, email, or deal with me if at all possible.  In fact, I think I was told at least once that I should "Stay over there!  I don't want it to rub off on me!"  Interestingly, I did report the 7.9 earthquake in the Philippines to the people at work about 10 minutes before the AP did.  The Queen knows ALL!!!  Yup, I still rock.

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