The way I see it, my day didn't kill me. Pass the Jack Daniels.
This is because Captain Jack Sparrow is a freakin' GENIUS!!! Why IS the rum gone?!!! This day would have gone a lot smoother if I'd just started drinking with breakfast.
Let's just go ahead and agree to substitue rum for vodka in the above statement. I'm not a big vodka drinker. It makes my tongue turn green. I've always blamed the vodka for that, but maybe it's really my tongue's fault. Who really knows, and with a bit more rum... who really cares?!
And for the morning after days like today we have... wine flu. I think I might have had a slight case of this before... briefly....and wanted to die. Just a thought.
Now then, in the absence of any alcohol.... or when MPH is staring at you during the work day with some kind of "you shouldn't drink while you're working" attitude, there's always this outlet. I made a sign too. It referenced alcohol and fire arms. I'll just keep it to myself. You're welcome.
And by the end of the day, we had this. The bad thing was that people were still calling me and EXPECTING me to care.... so I faked it... and pretended to stab myself when MPH checked on me....then giggled to myself afterwards... and had a drink. Anyone sensing a theme here?!
Then I did this impression because it made me smile... only I didn't say RAWR. I said NYAR!!! I said it because that's what my youngest child always says and it's both cute and scary... a lot like me.... and my youngest child. She once started saying it to me while she was in bed and didn't want me to turn out the light and leave. She said "NYAR NYAR NYAR!" then announced "I will say NYAR to you unless you stay!" I told her she'd be saying NYAR for a while then, and so she did.
Small child: NYAR NYAR NYAR!
Queen: Do you want me to have Daddy come kiss you good night?
Small child: NYAR NYAR NYAR Yes, tell him to kiss me. NYAR NYAR NYAR!
Queen: Will do!
Then I kissed her on the nose and went to get MPH. As I walked down the hall I heard from her dark room, "nyar nyar nyar near"
I wonder where she gets it from! Wait, just don't answer that.
And I thought I'd add this in because the one thing that makes a few glasses of wine and a smutty book even better.... is a few glasses of wine, a smutty book and FIREMEN!!! I do so love firemen...
MPH periodically says something like this about the time I've had some wine and have started talking about firemen, so I figured I'd go ahead and just toss it in here. It's kind of like a gift, really. Maybe now he'll give me a Fireman for Christmas!... or maybe not. It's a good thing MPH is cute.
And for my last trick, I would like to address all the political ads, discussions, arguments, disagreements, fact checking and general bullshit. Here's what the Queen is putting out there this year. This is my official endorsement for president. Ready? Good because here it is!
I went ahead and threw my support to Dr. Horrible because no one from Firefly was running. But as far as all the Facebook politics that always get thrown around during elections, I have one more thing to add.
Everyone chillax and have a pancake... NYAR!