Friday, September 21, 2012

Yeah It's THAT Kind of Night

You know some days are just not good days.  Some weeks aren't either.  Honestly, my week hasn't been that bad but today was just HORRIBLE for some reason.  And it's not that I can really even put my finger on it.  It was just one thing right after another.  I hate those days.  And to be honest, it really takes a lot more than you'd think to knock the queen off her groove.  Though now that I think about it, maybe if I'd shoved someone out the window of a huge Aztec temple, I'd have felt better.  Maybe not, but maybe Disney had it right with The Emperor's New Groove.  Who can really say unless they've tried it?  Though with a shocking lack of Aztec temples here in the southern US, I'm betting it will be a while before I can personally test that theory.   Now that I think about it, if MPH is reading this, I'm betting I've just lost my chance to go to ANY Aztec temple.  He knows how I am.
Anyway, back to my point, which I did have... it's been one of THOSE days, lack of Aztec temples aside.  Honestly, there really should be something we can do about these days.  Mine was bad enough that when my boss called and asked how I was, I told her we should probably just skip that question entirely because I wasn't sure she really wanted the truth.  She let it go... apparently she'd already heard.  Ooops.  Anyway, she did ask if I had anything good planned for the weekend so I told her that I did.  MPH and the kids have gone on down to the beach and I basically have the evening to myself.  I went out to dinner with our au pairs (the current and a former), had some wine, and now I'm back writing with plans to curl up in bed with another glass of wine and some kind of smutty book as soon as I'm finished here.  And THAT, dear readers and loyal subjects, is how a day like today SHOULD be handled!  Bring on the wine and men!!!  The fact that some random man tried to pick me up on the sidewalk on my way to dinner should probably be a pick-me-up of sorts, but frankly the day was just too bad for me to even be patient with the poor guy.  And really, he had no chance!  Anyway, here are a few things that seem to have summed up my day and my attitude tonight... plus a few that just made me smile.

The way I see it, my day didn't kill me.  Pass the Jack Daniels.

This is because Captain Jack Sparrow is a freakin' GENIUS!!!  Why IS the rum gone?!!!  This day would have gone a lot smoother if I'd just started drinking with breakfast.

Let's just go ahead and agree to substitue rum for vodka in the above statement.  I'm not a big vodka drinker. It makes my tongue turn green.  I've always blamed the vodka for that, but maybe it's really my tongue's fault.  Who really knows, and with a bit more rum... who really cares?!

And for the morning after days like today we have... wine flu.  I think I might have had a slight case of this before... briefly....and wanted to die.  Just a thought.

Now then, in the absence of any alcohol.... or when MPH is staring at you during the work day with some kind of "you shouldn't drink while you're working" attitude, there's always this outlet.  I made a sign too.  It referenced alcohol and fire arms.  I'll just keep it to myself.  You're welcome.

And by the end of the day, we had this.  The bad thing was that people were still calling me and EXPECTING me to care.... so I faked it... and pretended to stab myself when MPH checked on me....then giggled to myself afterwards... and had a drink.  Anyone sensing a theme here?!  

Then I did this impression because it made me smile... only I didn't say RAWR.  I said NYAR!!!  I said it because that's what my youngest child always says and it's both cute and scary... a lot like me.... and my youngest child.  She once started saying it to me while she was in bed and didn't want me to turn out the light and leave.  She said "NYAR NYAR NYAR!" then announced "I will say NYAR to you unless you stay!"  I told her she'd be saying NYAR for a while then, and so she did.

Small child: NYAR NYAR NYAR!
Queen:  Do you want me to have Daddy come kiss you good night?
Small child: NYAR NYAR NYAR  Yes, tell him to kiss me.  NYAR NYAR NYAR!
Queen: Will do!
Then I kissed her on the nose and went to get MPH.  As I walked down the hall I heard from her dark room, "nyar nyar nyar near"
I wonder where she gets it from!  Wait, just don't answer that.

And I thought I'd add this in because the one thing that makes a few glasses of wine and a smutty book even better.... is a few glasses of wine, a smutty book and FIREMEN!!!  I do so love firemen...

MPH periodically says something like this about the time I've had some wine and have started talking about firemen, so I figured I'd go ahead and just toss it in here. It's kind of like a gift, really.  Maybe now he'll give me a Fireman for Christmas!... or maybe not.  It's a good thing  MPH is cute.

And for my last trick, I would like to address all the political ads, discussions, arguments, disagreements, fact checking and general bullshit.  Here's what the Queen is putting out there this year. This is my official endorsement for president.  Ready?  Good because here it is!

I went ahead and threw my support to Dr. Horrible because no one from Firefly was running.  But as far as all the Facebook politics that always get thrown around during elections, I have one more thing to add.

Everyone chillax and have a pancake... NYAR!

1 comment:

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