Friday, July 27, 2012

I Can Buy WHAT At The Liquor Store?!

As I sit here and watch the opening ceremonies of the 2012 Summer Olympics on television, I am having a nice Jack and diet coke.  I'm alone in the house tonight, something that happens so rarely that I can't remember the last time it did.  And in honor of that fact, I decided that The Queen deserved a drink!  The problem was that I'm out of Jack Daniels.  Honestly, people, that makes having a Jack and diet rather difficult.  What it ended up REALLY meaning though was that I had to go to the liquor store earlier tonight.  While I was there I became stunned at what I could buy!

So it's true that I live in the South, so a trip to the liquor store is one of those hurried events.  It's not like any of us admit that we drink alcohol. Oh no!  That would just never do!  SCANDALOUS!  No, we do kamikaze liquor runs. That's where you run into the store, keep your head down, grab your bottle of liquor and sprint to the check out!  You pay as quickly as you can then head out to the car where you slump down low in the seat and speed out of the parking lot so that you can then act like you were never there.  I'm not sure exactly WHY we do it that way... well why most people do it that way.  I, on the other hand, wander in, yell "Hi y'all!" and peruse the stock at a leisurely pace while calling anyone else who is unfortunate enough to walk in by name.  My neighbors hate me.  This particular trip to the liquor store paid off with a bonus!  Not only did I manage to mortally embarrass a number of people I knew while buying a bottle of Jack Daniels, but I also found out just what all you can buy in the liquor store!

All I have to say is that I did realize that alcohol tends to start all kinds of naughty type behavior, but I had no idea that you could actually walk in and buy yourself some kinky and an orgy!... Well okay.  It's Or-G.  Check it out!

Go ahead and admit it.  You all thought I was kidding!!!

You know what I find even MORE amusing?  Kinky is cheaper than Or-G even though both appear to be on sale.  I was half tempted to search the store for 50 Shades of Vodka or something to go along with these too.  Maybe you have to buy the Kinky to get the Or-G.  They WERE on the shelf next to each other.  I confess that I didn't purchase either one.  I figured that showing up with that combo on a night that MPH (My Poor Husband) wasn't even home was just asking for trouble when he showed back up.  Yeah, he puts up with enough from me. I figured he probably didn't deserve some kind of coronary too.  I'll wait and spring these on him later.... maybe I'll even warn him!  Wait... NAH!

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