Prelude to Bad Porn!

Have you ever suddenly taken a look at yourself and realized that you look like you're in the middle of a prelude to some bad porn?  No?  Really?!  Geeze, people!  What do you do with your time?!!!  Well the Queen's life is an exciting thing... just like the movies!  Only, it's NOT usually like bad porn.

It started out innocently enough.  It's like 100 degrees here today and about mid-morning I started noticing that my office was a little bit on the warm side.  It's here at home on the second floor, so I went to turn down the thermostat.  That's when I found out just HOW on the warm side it was.  It was 83 upstairs!  No wonder I was hot!

I checked everything out with the thermostat and then wandered outside to do an inspection of the air conditioner.  Alright, I really didn't know what I was looking for but even I could figure out that the fact that I didn't hear it doing anything and the fan-thing wasn't turning was probably NOT a good sign since the temp was set on 74 and the actual temp was 81.  It seemed like that ought to be making the AC do something!  By the time I got back inside to whine to whoever would list, it read 82.  This was definitely not going the way I wanted it to.  So... I called MPH (My Poor Husband).

MPH is amazing sometimes!  He had this guy!  And so I promptly called this guy and begged for help in the 100 degree heat.  And he came over!!! It was great!  Well, it was more complicated than that.  You see, he was at church and was going to be a little while and I was really hot, but I was supposed to be working.  So I couldn't just run away to some nice air conditioned location with my computer and work.  I had to stay there.  But it was hot.  Did I mention it was hot?  Did I mention that I hate to be hot?  So I did what anyone would do in my place.  I looked out the window at my kids playing in the pool and I went downstairs, put on a bikini, ran out the back door and dove into the pool too!  I figured a five minute swim would help, and then I could go back upstairs to work in my bikini and just let it help keep me cool! That seemed logical!  And it worked too!!!  There was just one catch.  That's when the AC guy got there.

I had just walked back inside half naked in my bikini and dripping wet from the pool when the doorbell rang.  I did have a towel around my waist so that sort of made it better, but there stood the AC guy who needed to make sure he was in the right place.  I assured him he was and showed him the AC before coming back into the house and heading back upstairs.  But that's when it hit me.  I had become my own prelude to bad porn!  Can't you just see it?  Desperately hot (temp wise) woman answers the door to the sexy AC guy (mine wasn't):

Hot woman in a wet bikini:  Oh no!  My AC has broken.  Can you fix it?
Sexy AC guy:  Of course I can.  But it will cost you.
Hot woman in a wet bikini:  But I don't have any money!  What can I POSSIBLY do to pay for it?
(Cue bow-chika-bow-wow music here)

Fortunately, I had a checkbook... with CHECKS!  But do you want to know what the really sad part was?  It was really hot and I didn't even bat at eye at having answered the door like that.  In fact it didn't even occur to me to apologize to him for my appearance or even to be embarrassed.  All I knew was that I was cooler than I had been and he was there to fix the problem.  Life... was good.  He did it too.  The AC is still running and the temp is a lot better upstairs.  I worked the rest of the day in my bikini and was none the worse for wear.  Some days it's much better to work from home than others.  I'm betting that bikini would have broken the corporate dress code back at the corporate office.  But I'm not exactly sure.  I should probably check with HR.