Monday, July 16, 2012

All Hail the Empress!

I am SO excited, dear readers and loyal subjects.  And yes, I know that I get excited easily.  And no, I haven't officially started my cult yet.  And no, I still haven't found a bathing suit that makes me look like I think I look.  And no, that honey badger has not yet shown up to tell me that he doesn't give a shit about anything... except me.  And stop now! Where ARE you people getting all these questions?!  Just let me tell you what's going on!  I am excited!  (I think I mentioned it before.)  In fact, I may be about as excited as I was just before I got to meet my blogging hero, Jenny Lawson (The Bloggess) in person.  But this time it's someone totally different!

Look!  It's me and the Bloggess... and her taxidermied monkey... and a dolls head.  It was a weird experience, people, but it seemed appropriate!  And yes, that's my tiara on my head.  

Anyway, I'm going to tell you all about my excitement today, but let me add here that it helps if you've either read the book or seen the movie for Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.  It's a wonderful book (and movie for that matter) but it's sort of pertinent to our coming discussion.  You can imagine my dismay when I discovered that the people I excitedly told about my upcoming experience at work had not read the book and were not suitably excited for me/jealous of me during most of the day.  You see, there's a character in the book who plays herself in the movie.  She's a marvelous cabaret entertainer, and I have wanted to see her show for YEARS!  She's a little different than many...  unique... special... FABULOUS!  She calls herself The Doll and The Empress.  She is The Lady Chablis!!!  (queue girlish squeals here and applause)

The one, the only, The Lady Chablis!!!

Now The Lady Chablis is part comedian, part super-model, ALL fabulous and ALL lady... err, sort of. She's been called a drag queen and a female impersonator, but from what I get on her website, the term she prefers is bitch.  I totally get that!  This woman cuts to the chase and tells it like it is in all its hilarious glory!  She's over the top and glorious. And the Queen is TOTALLY going to be at her show on Friday night because how can I not appreciate that?!  Let's face it, people, The Queen respects the hell out of any man that makes a better woman than she does!  And this one might.

You see, I found out this morning that The Lady is coming to a club near me, and I immediately began making calls.  MPH laughed and promised he'd go with me.  We'd make it date night!  (Isn't he the best?!)  Then I got up with my friend Melanie (of wet pirates fame: Just click here. You know you want to.) to see if she and her husband wanted to go too.  Not only did they want to, but they got us all a VIP table for the show!  You know, this is why I love my friends!!!!  How many of your friends will get you a VIP table for a drag show?  Hmm?  Really now?

So my only real disappointment was that no one understood why I was giddy with excitement and squealing like a little girl!  Well... that is until I randomly told my wonderful, perfect Henchman, Syed.  Who'd have thought that the Bostonian would have been a fan of the book and movie about Savannah, Georgia?!  But it turns out he was.  I told him who I was seeing and he sputtered.  He stuttered.  He tried but was speechless!!!  And THAT, dear readers and loyal subjects, is the reaction I was looking for!  Bless that man's heart!  He was in awe and insisted that I provide details, pictures, phone calls and autographs if at all possible.  I promised him that I would, and I'll fill you all in on all the details too.  It's going to be a hell of a night.  It's not often that the Queen will bow down, but what else can one do before The Empress?  Bring it on, Lady!

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