Pirates and Pirates and Pirates, Oh MY!

I have survived Family Fun Friday!  In fact, not only did I survive, but I had a good time!  The whole day went pretty well… okay there was one teensy weensy issue that ended with me whipping a minivan around in an illegal U-turn on a two lane road while ranting that I was “turning this bus around and going home!”  But that did sort of settle back out, and we seem to have gotten the crazies out relatively early in the day.  Besides, let’s face it.  These little girls are related to me.  It’s not like anyone actually expects them to sit still and act right.  It’s just not in their nature.  As long as no one is bleeding out, I figure we can call a day a success.

So anyway, we managed to take in several attractions during the day but my favorite, by far, was Pirate Voyages…. Oh yeah.  Let me explain this for those of you who haven’t experienced it before.  This is a dinner show a lot like Medieval Knights but with…. you guessed it…. pirates.  Only these are better than pirates!  These are hot…. young… acrobatic pirates!!!  This was SO a win on the ole scale of awesome. 

Now, meeting up with us for the second half of the day and the Pirate Voyages eye candy… I mean show… was Melanie, a friend of mine, and her two daughters.  We let the kids run around MagiQuest and had lunch and then met back up for dinner.  Melanie, unlike me, had experienced Pirate Voyages before so she knew everything that I didn’t.  So when I said something at lunch about not being too enthused about the dinner show, the explanation went something like this.

Mel:  But these are acrobatic pirates

The Queen:  Acrobatic pirates?

Mel: Acrobatic pirates.

The Queen:  You mean like gymnast pirates?

Mel:  Exactly.

The Queen: Sweeeeeeet

Mel:  Exactly.

The Queen:  Can we go right now?

Sometimes the simplest explanations really are the best.   Anyway, it turns out that acrobatic was an understatement.  These guys were amazing!  (Okay, there were some women too but I managed to tune them out with very little difficulty.  MPH, on the other hand, is trying to convince me that the spandex pants wore by the Pirate Queen would be a good idea for me too.  Let’s just say… no.  But back to my point…)  They tumbled.  They flew on ropes.  They trampolined over walls.  They did amazing dives into the water, and they swam.   * I’d like to take a moment here to ask you to please redirect your attention to that last sentence.  They did amazing dives into the water, and they swam.  Think…. And now we’ll move on again. *  Mel and I sat side by side as about 8 pirates leaped at once from high aboard the pirate ships, landed in the water, and then swam and pulled themselves out once more.  Then THIS was the conversation said in hushed but awed tones:

Mel:  And now we have….

The Queen and Mel in unison:  WET PIRATES!

And oh, we so did!  People… it turns out that there actually IS something better than a pirate.  And that something is a WET pirate.  I was amazed… WHO KNEW?!

And I have to take a moment to mention the fire dancer too.  He was pretty darn amazing as well!  I’ve always thought that stuff looked pretty as long as it was being performed by someone other than a drunk who had improvised fire pots out of tomato soup cans filled with my stash of Jack Daniels in my living room.  But.. that only happened the one time!  Anyway!  This guy actually did something that I had never seen.  He had fire whips!!!  And he used those puppies to light the water on fire!  It was the damnedest thing I’ve ever seen!  This was SERIOUSLY cool!   Again, we were just dumb struck!

The Queen:  That man is my new hero.

Mel:  I heart him.

And then we proceeded to giggle as if we had good sense.  Aaaaaaah, good times… gooooood times.  And this, dear readers and loyal subjects, is how I spent my Friday night…. Oogling wet gymnasts pretending to be pirates, though now that I think about it, that does sound sort of sleezy.  And that hardly seems fair. Wait! I know!!  I’ll make it up to them by going back tomorrow night and watching it again!  I’m sure I can do it with more decorum this time!  I swear!!!

MEL!  Quick!  You order the drinks and I’m on my way!.... Later, peeps!