Saturday, May 5, 2012

The Queen's FAQ

Alright, I've found myself inundated with all sorts of questions that it seems that you, dear readers and loyal subjects (plus the voices that live in my head), want to know the answers to.  Like am I really willing to end a sentence in a preposition?  The answer is yes.  Deal with it.  Anyway, I have come up with a list of frequently asked questions based on the questions I'm asked via Facebook, Twitter, and email.  Then I made up a bunch of other questions because, quite frankly, I was on a roll and it amused me.  So without further ado, here are your Queen's FAQs!

1.  If the Queen is your superhero alter ego, how does that work in your daily life?
Queen:  Well, in my daily life as I go about my usual activities, I always wear a mask.  That way no one will realize it's me.  That keeps my alter ego secret all safe and snuggly.



Look!  Even Cupcake, my teddy bear, wears hers.  Safety first, people.

2.  Is that apron you're wearing a functional item or just a fashion accessory?
Queen:  What are you talking about here?  It has a function?! Wow! Who knew?



3.  Is there such a thing as too much ice cream?
Queen:  No.  And ice cream DOES count as lunch, but cupcakes are better for you.

4.  When you follow the Queen on Facebook, do you get your own tiara?
Queen:  No.  And Henchman, you should quit trying on mine.  I realize what you're doing over there.  It's really just not safe to touch the Queen's tiara.  You have been warned.


I think it's best that you get your own...kind of like this one.  And before you ask, yes.  That IS Hello Kitty in that setting.  OMG Life just keeps getting BETTER!!!

5.  Has Axis of Awesome broken down and written you a theme song yet?
Queen:  Shockingly no.  They have not.  You should continue to try to write them and explain nicely or insanely, as may be your preferred method, why they should write my super cool, super awesome theme song.  You may reach them at contact@axisofawesome.net.  And if you haven't seen it yet, you should watch this video of theirs.  This one. Click here. It's 4 chords.

6.  How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?  (Frighteningly, this one is one that I really did get asked.  What do you people do with your free time?!)
Queen:  The owl says 3 and who am I to judge?



7.  Can I apply to be one of your minions?
Queen:  Yes.

8.  How do you do all the things you do and keep a blog too?
Queen:  Like this.
                 Now you try.

9.  What is beer classified as within the food pyramid?
Queen:  It's nutritionally considered a protein shake.  At least that's what my friend Mel has decided and frankly, I'm simply willing to go with it.



So there you go!  These are the most frequently asked but by no means the only questions.  Should you have others, please feel free to leave them and I will personally answer them for you... if I can't find a minion to do it in my place, naturally.  Now then, the minion applicant line forms to the right.  Please try to be orderly.





2 comments:

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