Monday, May 7, 2012

Sarcastic? ME?!

I would like to take moment to announce that the Queen is a perfectly lovely, friendly and delightful individual who is kind to small children, puppies, and anyone who sells expensive jewelry that she would like to own.  Great.  Now we're all on the same page!  

With that information behind our belts, I would like to know exactly why things like this keep popping up in my emails.  MPH (My Poor Husband) is currently away for a couple of weeks.  This past weekend he emails me this picture and tells me he's found it at a tattoo shop.  (I didn't even ask what he was doing at a tattoo shop. He swears that I "made" him get the only tattoo he possesses so really... WTF?!)  Anyway, he sends me this in an email and tells me he's trying to find out if they make it on t-shirts because it is apparently totally me.

For the visually challenged, that's "National Sarcasm Society... Like we need your support."  Now then, once I stopped laughing because... well it's funny because it's TRUE... I had to wonder why he was sending it to sweet, innocent and ultra-kind, little ole me!  (At this point I'd offer a napkin to anyone who knows me well enough to have just spewed their drink out of their nose.  Pull yourselves together, people, and just keep reading!)  I mean really!  Who would get the idea that I appreciate something like sarcasm?!

Apparently, the friend who sent me THIS got that idea....

Anyone besides me catching onto a trend?  Honestly, why would anyone even begin to think that I appreciated sarcasm.  Just because it's witty, dry, and gives you the opportunity to insult people who really need to be insulted while preventing them from catching onto the fact that that's what you've just done for a good ten minutes (which is just funny as hell!) doesn't meant that the Queen would stoop to such... oh who the hell am I kidding?  Sarcasm ROCKS!!!  Don't you just love it!  I mean, if you're REALLY good at it, not only does your obviously unworthy opponent in the battle of wits not realize you've insulted them, but even if they do realize it, they're not totally POSITIVE you've insulted them.  If you play your cards right, you can drag them on in a state of complete confusion for hours!!!... or until they find someone who knows you well enough to go "Dude, you just got owned."  And frankly, that's worth it too.

Okay fine.  So I appreciate sarcasm... a LOT.  In honor of that, please enjoy the work of people who have more time than I do and who know how to use those picture thingies on the computer to make crap that's worth posting.  Lord knows I do!

We all know this is me.

Poor little sarcastic marshmallow!  

Now this is my kind of doctor!

Truer words have rarely if ever been spoken!

Self defense... use it, people!

And last but definitely not least...because I just love me some Alan Rickman....

I shall now go and swoon now.  Sarcasm AND Rickman... life is good!  Now you all just have a delightful day, ya hear?!

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