German Biergarten:1, The Queen:0

I had a flash of brilliance today while I was having lunch at the German Biergarten in Epcot.  I knew immediately what I wanted to write about this evening.  I recognized this thought for what it was at the time... sheer genius.  Then I somehow accidentally challenged a guy at the next table, who was a lot bigger than me I should tell you, to a beer drinking contest and somehow that thought flew out the window.  Honestly, I was minding my own business at the time.  I haven't been to Germany in about a year now, but I finally learned to drink beer the last time I was there.  To be accurate, I drink beer mixed with Sprite which is called a radler or something like that, and it's really the only way I can drink it. I've never been able to stand the taste of beer by itself.  But when you're in Munich at the Haufbrau Haus, it's suddenly really important that you participate in the whole cultural experience of having a liter of beer.  So I figured out that I could do it this way. Which brings me back to the Biergarten.  Since it had been almost a year since I'd last had one, I decided to participate in the cultural experience again, so I ordered another radler.  The waitress asked if I wanted a small or large one, and I just had to have the whole liter stein again, so I picked large.  That's what seems to have started it all.

After I'd been served my beer, another table was seated.  I looked up to find the waitress pointing at me, and I realized the gentleman at the next table was trying to decide what size beer to order as well. She was apparently pointing out mine to demonstrate the size of the large.  Well, you all know the Queen is accommodating, so of course I held up my beer, smiled, waved, then may have made some comment about how only wusses ordered the smalls.  I can't exactly remember how it went now. I swear.  Anyway, next time I look over, this guy has a nice large liter stein as well.  It was all very social at that point.

It wasn't until I was loading up a plate with schnitzel and spatzel at the buffet that I ran into him and had a chance to chat.  That's where we began to talk about the size of this thing.  He said something about the fact that he'd be drinking on it for the next half hour, and so I helpfully suggested he put a nipple on it.  At that point, it was on!  We raced back to our respective tables and held up our beers to see who had the most left in it.  From there we checked frequently.  This guy was apparently a lush because he was flying through that thing!  Or maybe I'm a lightweight and should have considered that before I began to taunt him.  Who knows, but I had to come up with some creative drinking skills.  These involved me pouring beer rather frequently into my "to go" beer cup (God bless Disney) and having MPH hold it and hide it under the table so it looked like I was doing much better than I was.... and he was still beating me!  At one point he called over to me to let me know that the place closed at 9pm... it was 1pm at that point, so I poured everything I had left into my hidden cup and called out triumphantly to him while seeming to upend my glass and finish it entirely.  Yes, I admit it. I am not above cheating. This was a matter of principle, people!  My drinking prowess was at stake.  The fact that I usually just threaten to drink and rarely actually do it is beside the point!  I refused to go down without swinging.

We ended up calling it a draw. Turns out he'd finished about the same time as I'd hidden all my beer.  The Queen had not lost.  All was well.  It was a shame that I ran into him another country down from Germany after we left.  There I stood with a full plastic cup of beer, and he looked awfully suspicious.  I think I managed to cover though.  I slurred a bit, swayed on my feet and told him I'd gotten another one... then I asked him where his was when MPH hauled me off complaining.  Seems he didn't want to see me figure out how to cheat a second time.  Apparently they frown on you pouring beer surreptitiously into the plants during the Flower and Garden Show.  Who knew?