Thursday, March 29, 2012

Better Living Through Chemistry... and Amusement

I want to thank everyone again for their good wishes as I've battled the mother of all colds this week.  Today I am again approaching the land of the living! Whooohooo!  Hades... it's a great place to visit but you wouldn't want to live there.  Yeah okay. That was weak, but I've been sick. Cut me some slack, peeps!  Anyway, I decided to give up on my attempts to tough it out.  Turns out I'm not really all that tough, and besides, better living through chemistry and all that rot!  So back on the meds I went today. And it was good!  I managed to take a shower!!!  Again, work with me.  That's a toughie when you feel bad.  After the shower I even put on make up!  Fake good looks count, if you ask me.  And I fixed my hair!  Alright, alright, I blew it dry.  But honestly, that's about all I do anyway.  I'm lazy.  So sue me.  Anything more is a waste of time I could be otherwise using to try on all my tiaras... at once.... while eating cupcakes.  Aaaaah, the good life.

So anywho... since I was feeling better and much more like my royal self, I called MPH (My Poor Husband) and let him know that he would be lucky enough to take me out to lunch... on him, of course.  Naturally, he was thrilled.  But I had made an effort!  I felt better!  Someone was going to appreciate this, and I thought the general public was a good choice.  So out we went to my favorite restaurant which happens to be owned by two dear friends.  And guess what, dear readers and loyal subjects.  It was lunch and a show day!!!!

That went fairly well except for the loony woman who was one sammich shy of a picnic that beat me to the restaurant.  She was storming out by the time I left but honestly, her complaint was that she didn't like the packaging of her carry out order.  It wasn't packaged in styrofoam.  Instead the packaging was biodegradable, environmentally friendly... obviously it was EVIL... so she brought it back and pitched a profanity laced fit.  It was horrible, people!  I missed it by about 5 minutes!!  Really, I live in a small town in the rural south.  There's not much going on and that would have been something worth talking about for DAYS!  Apparently there was eventual the threat of the cops being called on this chick.  But I have to give her credit for some quick thinking and witty response.  I understand it was "Go ahead! I'll call the cops on you!"  Okay, okay. Not everyone can be me.  She was apparently a little slower on the draw than I would have been.  Regardless, I at least tried to do my part to keep the excitement rolling.  At the end of my meal, I had our regular waitress drag one of the owners out so I could complain that my food was inedible.  He took one look at my plate, which at that point contained  nothing but a slice of onion that I hadn't wanted, basically patted me on the head, and assured me they'd do better next time.  It's tough to be taken seriously around here.

Other than managing to feel human for the entire day at work, that was about the extent of the excitement of my day today.  Some days it's the little things that really count.  At the end of the day I walked outside to find my 6 year old bobbing around in the hot tub in an inflatable fish shaped inner tube.  I thought about asking about it, but even I realize that whatever answer I got wouldn't really cover it.  Instead I took pictures because it amused me.  Maybe tomorrow I'll be even better and willing to challenge her on it.  Or... maybe I'll just pour myself a drink, find a fish of my own and bob around with her.  If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

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