Sunday, March 4, 2012

Look! I'm Here On Time!

Today I went on a road trip all by myself.  Now, this isn’t terribly unusual in and of itself, but this was the recreation of a road trip from last year that turned out totally differently.  But before I get to THAT story, I’d like to take a moment to let MPH (My Poor Husband) know officially, that there is NO parenting award that corresponds to the picture he sent me while I was eating my breakfast of a chocolate on chocolate cupcake with a Venti Gingerbread Latte in Barnes and Nobles in Raleigh.  (To my credit, I had them use low fat milk…)  Apparently, he’s confused.  He sent me a picture of two of our children eating brownies and drinking diet coke with caffeine for breakfast.  IS THE MAN INSANE?!  You don’t feed kids that for breakfast!  I was appalled!  If I’d been there I’d have fed them ice cream!!! What was he thinking?!!! *big sigh of disappointment*

So with that little tidbit out of the way, I’ll get back to my story.  Actually… not quite.  There’s a bit of background needed.  I realize this will come as a complete shock to most of you so do be sure you’re seated before you continue reading.  Are you there yet?  Ready?  Okay, good.  You see, I have some eccentric hobbies and interests.  And… I don’t do bored well… at all.  There, I’ve said it.  Pull yourselves back together and let’s move on, shall we?  Now then, one of my interests happens to be in Tarot cards.  I just love them!  I might have a few decks.  MPH thinks I should have a lot fewer, but what does he know?  Anyway, there’s a fabulous tarot reader who teaches up in Raleigh and she does a series of classes once a year.  I’ve been dieing to take them so last year I decided it was time to do so.  This is, pretty much, that story.

I remember being all excited.  I’d been wanting to take this class for a while, as I might have already mentioned.  Please keep up with me here.  So I finally signed up for it and headed up to Raleigh for a “me” weekend that included the class.  I arrived on Saturday morning last year, (Today the class is on Sunday.) and made plans to stay overnight and have a girls day with my friend Sokun the next day.  Well, I came up extra early on Saturday morning. I did my Barnes and Nobles run, had coffee and even went by the mall for a bit of early shopping since the class started around lunch time.  Eventually, though, I headed for the shop where the class was being held.  Now I still managed to get there nice and early so I could look around this shop because I love it.  It didn’t take me very long to notice one itsy bitsy issue.  I was a bit earlier than I thought…. And by a bit… I mean three weeks.  Yeah, I know.  Go figure!  I mean, what were they thinking screwing this class up on my schedule like that?!  Wait… now that I think about it, it might have been that I just TOTALLY screwed up the date of the class by three weeks… but doesn’t it seem just nicer in general to say that they did it?  Surely no one expects ME to be to blame!  Right.  I thought not.  I do love you people.

Anywho!  So there I was.  Three weeks before my class was actually scheduled to occur, a time when I would be out of town at Disney World, I might add, and I was trying to figure out how to extricate myself from what was certainly an embarrassing situation if anyone found out.  That last part ended up being key!  You see there were other classes going on that day at the shop so I just sort of acted like maybe I was there for those.  Unfortunately absolutely none of them interested in.  I think one might have been on financial planning from beyond the grave, but admittedly the details are a bit hazy now.  So I was pretty much just screwed.  There was no class.  I couldn’t take the class when it really was scheduled, and now I had a day with nothing to do out of town.  But rest easy, dear readers and loyal subjects.  I did what anyone else in my position would do.  I went shopping…. Then got a tattoo!  Oh and I also didn’t admit to MPH that there had been anything out of the ordinary going on for the rest of the day.  I stayed over, had shopping day with Sokun then went home to explain.  You see, I find it helpful to spill these sorts of embarrassing little tidbits in a manner that allows me to distract from them with other interesting little tidbits.  So I think it came out something like this…

I arrived home late.  MPH was asleep, poor thing.  So I tiptoed into the room, kissed him on the cheek, and when he woke up and asked sleepily how my weekend was, I blurted out “It was great! I got a tattoo! Oh and my class doesn’t actually start for three weeks!” then attempted to flee the room.  Turns out that man can wake up on the fast side!!!  You know, he really has no sense of scale when you startle him like that.  I suggested meditation to help with that vein that was bulging over his left eye, but I don’t think he took it well.  You just can’t tell some people anything.  So I sat through the rant about getting tattoos and such things without at least notifying him I was thinking about it.  And I sat through part of the rant about how I really should be more responsible and at least know what day, or better yet what week, my class was being taught, but despite the fact that he was particularly animated at this point, it really had been a long weekend, and I think I might have dozed off.  Just don’t tell him.  So the moral of the story, dear ones, is that it’s a really bad idea to let the Queen be bored, for she WILL find something to do to liven up her time.  Odds are, however, that it won’t be anything you expect.

Oh and did I mention that the way I figure it I technically now have a prison tattoo?!  No?  Oh well, that’s another story.  Oh and needless to say there was MUCH confirmation involved in the date of the class this year.  I looked… carefully.  MPH looked.  And I also called the shop and asked them to tell me that it was this Sunday… three times.  I think they think I’m weird.  Oh well!

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