Beware the Penguin Cam!!!

Alright, I admit it.  Penguin cam is like crack, people!  It's totally addicting and you just can't stop!  Someone needs to give me an intervention. This is totally Kim's fault... Kim from work, not Kim my sister in case she's reading... Hi Kim!  Anyway, Kim from work gave me access to Sea World's penguin cam and if you haven't seen it... Oh my God I have no idea what you're doing with your free time.  The real problem though is that she gave me to both me and E... I am shortening her name to E for the purposes of anonymity and because Elisa, which is her real name, is too long for what I'm planning here.  Oops...  Anyway, this is what the penguin cam looks like:

Holy cannoli are these things cute!  Here's the link http://dsc.discover.com/tv/frozen-planet/penguin-cam but be careful with it!!! Trust me!!!  So here's how the conversation went after E and I were given the link by Kim... aka drug dealer:

Queen:  I have just put on my tiara and claimed them all as my loyal subjects! Life is good
E:  Use your power wisely.  As if!!!
Queen: They're going to help me take over the world!!! All the cupcakes will be mine!!! That's wisely, right?
E: You remind me of Drakken from Kim Possible.
Queen: I loved Drakken!  I'm also a big Dr. Doofenshmirtz fan from Phineas and Ferb.
E:  Yes! You can take over the Tri-state area!!!
Queen: And this is why I love you, Elisa... or at least part of it!
Queen:  I just want to know if the penguin in the middle has fallen and can't get up (This guy was just lying there on his tummy without moving!)
E: None of the others seem concerned.
Queen:  Exactly but what does penguin concern look like?  I'm waiting for one of them to rush over there, check a pulse, roll him over, pound on his chest with a flipper and yell "LIVE, DAMMIT!"
E: Nobody's even looking at him. Maybe they nap on their bellies.  Damn! Now I wish I'd stayed awake during my marine mammals physiology class!
E: Wait, it's not a mammal. It's a bird.  I think they taught that on the first day. See?
Queen: You napped HARD, didn't you?
Queen: Look! There's one bending down now to check to see if he's breathing!!! O maybe it died too. I'm a little unsure.
E: I figure if 3 of them are laying down, it's more likely to be nappy time. I don't see any grape Kool Aid anywhere....
Queen: Gas... it's obviously gas
E:  STOP!!! Don't think that hadn't occurred to me..
Kim decided to chime in here with the epic quote: Pumbaa, with you everything is gas
Queen: I just snorted
E:  You are evil.
Queen: But fun!  And look! This penguin is ready for his close up!!! He is definitely my people!!!! (I swear this little guy was trying to stick his whole head through the camera)
E:  He's so cute! I'm an idiot... because I'm talking to him.
Queen: I named him Barney.
E:  Dear lord. And so it begins... or merely continues...
Queen:  Yeah, I was going to point that last part out too.
Queen:  Does it sound to you like someone is riding motorcycles around in the background?  Why would they do that in Antarctica? (I still don't know what that sound was)
E:  I have the sound off. Damn kids and their ski mobiles.  There's nothing to do after school in Antarctica.
(At this point there are now about 5 other penguins standing around our friend who's apparently sleeping on his tummy.)
Queen: Hey look!  Herman has a crowd standing around him  now. I told you there was something wrong with him!
(And suddenly he manages to get to his feet.)
E:  You kill me.  Look!  He's erect!  I mean... standing up!
Queen: It was peer pressure that saved him.  Everyone is standing up... at least all the cool penguins are.

And at this point the conversation delved into the fact that penguins look like old men on a golf course when they walk around and how we should take pictures and make subtitles in Yiddish.  It's honestly a complete mystery to me as to how this progression always takes place.  Regardless, that's how I spent some time today.  Oh and you should check out the penguins too.  Just don't blame me if you have to quit your job just to indulge in your new addiction!