Sunday, April 1, 2012

Enrique, Who? This is Rafael.

The Queen took a "me" day this weekend.  It was Saturday, to be precise, and it was delightful.  It was one of those days you take when you realize that everyone else in the world is driving you insane, and it has to be their fault because it couldn't POSSIBLY be yours, so it's best to get off on your own before you turn into Psycho-Queen and even MPH (My Poor Husband) can't stand to be around you.  Face it, we all need those every now and then.  I needed one on Saturday.  And so I took one.  I went out of town all by myself and went shopping, vegged in Barnes and Nobles with a coffee, and even took myself out to lunch.  And that's where it happened, people.  That is where I found Enrique, my ultimate pool boy!  (It makes more sense if you've seen this. )Now, I will admit here that I like men.  I like pretty much all men, and I don't apologize for it.  Alright, I don't apologize for much of anything but for this I REALLY don't apologize!  Fortunately MPH understands and accepts this... mostly because it's the only way he can stand to be in the same room with me for more than a couple of minutes.  Also, he's aware that I like men in general, but him in particular as Bridget Jones would say.  I think I'm getting off topic though.

Okay, I should probably back up a bit.  I took myself to lunch at a really nice restaurant.  It was early afternoon so the lunch rush was over and the place was fairly quiet.  I brought my iPad with me so I could look at it and pretend that I was reading or doing something vitally important... possibly CIA related because everyone has an iPad at the CIA... at least that's what I was planning to tell anyone who asked me, but most of all I just didn't want to look like I had gone so looney that no one else wanted to have lunch with me... regardless of the potential reality here.  Anyway, I was seated in a nice little booth on my own and studied the menu with my handy dandy iPad next to me.  That's when I saw him.  It was Enrique!  At least it was the Enrique in my head.  This beautiful, dark man walked over, smiled and told me he'd be right with me.  Because I'm the unflappable sort, I nodded my head at him politely then figured out a few minutes later that I was drooling and should probably pick my jaw up off the table.  After that a young woman came over, said the same and eventually popped back to take my order.  It was like being taunted by the Gods of hot, young men!  It was so unfair!!!  Fortuantely, my waitress turned out to be a delightful girl named Kat and that made much of the rest of the meal go over better.

I started off with a glass of red wine. They had something on the menu that looked interesting so I ordered it. Kat went away but came back again to ask the silliest question I've ever been asked in my life.  She wanted to know if I wanted the 5 ounce or 8 ounce glass.  I stared uncomprehendingly at her and finally said, well Duh!  I'll take the 8 ounce!  I mean really!  Who orders less wine rather than more?  Not this Queen!  And then I sat back to watch Enrique wander around the restaurant while I waited for my wine.  turns out my booth was very close to his section, but unfortunately around a slight corner.  The booth next to mine had a MUCH better view of his section though... hmmm, let me think.  Yeah, I figured I could pull this off.  Kat brought me my wine then ran off again with my order for oysters as an appetizer then blacked talapia as my entree while I pondered making my move.  The place was nearly empty. Would anyone REALLY notice if I just slipped into the next booth to improve my eye candy viewing potential?!  I wasn't sure Kat would realize anything had changed at all.  I even went so far as to scout out the next booth. Did I need to move much from mine to that one? Did I need to move anything back from it to mine for a seamless transition?!  Perhaps if I hadn't tried to plan my move out so carefully, the very zippy Kat wouldn't have made it back before I had time to make my move.  Oh well, oysters are distracting too.

Now I've said it before and I'll say it again. Some people really just aren't prepared for me.  I have... a particular sense of humor and a highly developed sense of sarcasm.  I think this was one of those times. Kat returned after I'd finished the oysters... in record time I might add.  These things were fantastic!  I practically slurped them out of their little shells... and probably would have if I'd thought of it in advance.  Too bad it occurred to me at the end.  Oh well.  Anyway, Kat came back and asked me how they were.  Naturally, I responded that they were practically inedible.  Surprisingly, poor Kat looked truly alarmed by that announcement.  I felt bad!  Okay, I didn't really, but she did seem to figure out that something was up about the time I tried to convince her to bring me out another dozen so I could do a quality inspection on those too.  To her credit, she thought about it, kept a completely straight face then with a considered stare suggested that she could sit down with me and help out with my research.  I nodded wildly and told her to grab a glass of wine too because I thought that might have issues as well.  Grinning, she ran off again to find my meal.

I will say that I was disappointed that Enrique wasn't my waiter, but I ended up having a delightful time with Kat.  She turned out to be a great sport and kept laughing at all my jokes.  Likely she went back to the back, moaned about each of them then cheerfully came back out to laugh some more in hopes of a really big tip from the crazy lady who kept trying to lean around the booth in front of her for some inexplicable reason, but ultimately, she even figured that out.  Yeah, that's right.  I got busted ogling Enrique.  Only it turns out that wasn't his name.  She told me so after I told her I was willing to pay for him to change it if it wasn't.  Turns out his name was Rafael.  You know... suddenly I decided that was even better than Enrique.  Who is this Enrique person again anyway?!  I'm all about some Rafael.  I could seriously envision him fishing me out of the pool the next time I fell in while trying to rescue a large German Shepherd.  Oh yeah.  And he could bring me another glass of wine too!  Anywho!  I left Kat with the info that if he ever wanted to give up his day job, that I'd heard pool boying paid well.  She promised to tell him... and might really do it so that's when I figured I should run away!  But regardless I learned a perfectly good lesson that day.  At least I think I did.  8 ounces of wine made me forget what it was.  I am SUCH a light weight.  Oh well!!!  I'll just sit here and wait for my pool boy to remember what it was and let me know.  I might be a while.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you so much for commenting on QueenOfAllThingsGood! Your comments are always welcome and appreciated. I love reading them and hopefully respond to them as well. Thanks!