Sunday, April 8, 2012

Knittering on...

I realize that what I'm about to say will come as a shock to all of you, dear readers and loyal subjects.  I realize that I have maintained an appropriate aura of mystery, of high society.  It's a sense that I make each day just a little brighter just by opening my eyes to it.  I have that sense of elegance that so many strive to achieve... a regal mystique if you will.  (Leave me my illusions, people.  Just humor me here.  It won't hurt for long.)  Never the less, I will now let you all know a little secret.  The Queen... likes to knit.  Turns out I'm not very good at it.  I can basically knit and perl in long sections of each.  Don't ask me to figure out how to do a cable pattern... or really any other pattern at all, but regardless, I enjoy doing the little things that I do.  The other thing I really enjoy doing is wallowing about in book stores while pouring over hundreds of books that I'm certain I should buy but unusually don't... at least not more than a dozen at a time.  Today I decided to combine these two different loves.  Yes, I went to a book store to knit!  No wait... that wasn't it.  No no.  I was in a book store and looking at books about knitting!  Yes!  That's how it went!  The other would be silly... okay, I HAVE been known to knit in a book store but face it.  I'm weird.  And I've done sillier things!  Anyway, I swear I'm coming to my point.

Is it just me, or do people today just have too much time on their hands?  Or perhaps they just have too many allergies.  I'm betting it's one of the two based on two books that I found today.  You see, there I was, minding my own business and perusing the craft section of my favorite book store when I came upon a title that I don't think I could have made up on a  good day... and remember that I am fond of ninja unicorns and I can make up some pretty outlandish things when I put my mind to it.  However, I had no ever considered either of the following titles.... Ready?...

Yes, people.  I found a book on how to knit yourself a cat!  Who knew such a thing existed?! WHY does such a thing exist?!!!  For what purpose would you need to KNIT yourself a CAT?!!!  I was just dumb struck!  I had no rational explanation for what I was seeing.  Do you knit this thing, name it and then do regular cat activities with it?  Well now that I think about it, I suppose I could knit one and let IT sit off on the other side of the room and ignore me about as well as Sabrina, my non-knitted cat, does.  I wonder if the yarn pills then drops off enough to qualify as a hairball.  I'm honestly not sure how I feel about that.  However, I found more.  Apparently the people who create these books are equal opportunity knitters.  They have also given us this...

For sure this is not a knittable that should be leashed and then drug out for walks!  On the plus side, it seems like I'd be less concerned and less likely to fall into the pool while trying to rescue one of these that accidentally fell in first.  ( )  So it does have that going for it.  And truthfully, this whole concept just fascinated me.  Granted, my little mind gets fascinated by things that sparkle too, but I went from wondering why you would want one of these to why you wouldn't in about 5 seconds flat!  I didn't go so far as to buy one of these books... mainly because I'm not good enough at knitting to have created anything in them no matter how simple the pattern might have been, but I figure I'll randomly start asking crafty people to make them for me.... whenever I meet them on the street or something.  Because really, I've asked for weirder!

Oh and if you follow me on Twitter, you know already that I asked the Easter bunny for a ninja unicorn.  Alas, my ninja unicorn was apparently too big to fit into an Easter basket.  At least that's why I figure I didn't get one.  I think I'll ask Santa for one for Christmas. I think his sack is bigger.

And while I'm at it, I'm going to ask for this next book too.  I am a geek from way back and I suspect that my library will remain incomplete until I have this final book regardless of whether or not I could make anything in it.  So if you start looking for presents for me, people, consider a well knitted cat, a knitted dog, or ANYTHING from this book.  And may the force be with you!

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